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Fish Talent Show/Transcript

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(Bud is playing with a ball, but upon seeing Wilfred juggling on a unicycle, he tosses the ball and walks off)

(In the school auditorium)
Mr. Mussels: (making shadow puppets) Bunny! Broccoli! Two broccoli! These shadow puppets are Mr. Mussels' talent! What is YOUR talent? (everyone raises their hands) NO! (everyone sulks) I don't wanna hear it, now! 'Cause I want to save it -- for the talent show!
Bea: A talent show?
Everyone: YEAAAAH!/A talent show!
Albert: Does the winner get a fabulous prize?
Mr. Mussels: YES! This coupon book! "(Shows book reading "Super Duper Coupons")
Everyone/Albert: Whoa!/I could use a super saving!
Mr. Mussels: Now, shine! My beautiful students, SHIIINE!

(Wipe to reveal the fish practicing various talents. The Student Council carry a trampoline. Mr. Mussels in on a ladder fitting a moon. Dumpy and another fish are singing)
Jumbo: (dressed as a barbershop quartet member) Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi...
Albert: (also dressed as one) You-you-you...
Jumbo: Mi...
Albert: You-you-you... (They giggle)
(Esmargot does some ribbon twirling but it gets stuck on her. Bo Gregory rolls by on a corncob. The Goth Fish perform in a classical band)

(Cut to Milo and Oscar backstage)
Oscar: Wow. Everyone's pretty amazing.
[[Milo: If we're gonna win this talent show, we're gonna have to step! Our! Game! Up!
Oscar]]: But...we don't have any talents.
Milo: Well, we have one thing they don't.
Oscar: Shame?
Milo: No! (flips) WE'RE BROTHERS!

(Cut to Bea, Shellsea and Clamantha on the stage)
Bea: Girls, I'm so excited. There is just so much talent bursting out of the three of us!
Shellsea: Girl, I had to put on another purse support just to hold it all in. (zoom out to show she did so)
Clamantha: Let's do a Love Circle!
Shellsea: Excellent idea, We wanna slather this thing with good vibe butter.
Bea: (as they join hands) Good bites are key. Shellsea, I think you're just great.
Shellsea: I think you're great.
Clamantha: You're both great!
Bea: Thanks, Clamantha! You're great.
Shellsea: We're all so greaaaaaat.
Bea: Greaaaaaat.
Clamantha: Greaaaaaat.
Bea: Shellsea, with your style, and Clamantha, with your spirit, this is the year, the three of us, together, are going to dominate as...

(The girls begin to spin)
Shellsea: Whoa.
Clamantha: I love this parrrrt!!

(There is a flash of light; as salsa music plays, the light fades to reveal Bea, Shellsea and Clamantha dressed in Mexican wear and inflatable legs)
Bea: Trrrrrés Pescados, salsa dance...
Shellsea: Sensaaaaations.
Clamantha: Caliente! (her legs start to deflate) Uh-oh! My inflatable legs are giving out!! (inflates more air into her legs)
Bea: Okay, girls! I've choreographed us a killer routine! (shows the routine card) So, who's ready to give it a try?
Shellsea: Girl, I've been ready since these clothes were actually in style.
(Cutway to a realistic close up of Shellsea; "Go on!" is sung in a more show-tune)
Bea: Follow my lead.
(Salsa music plays as the girls dance)
Bea (cont.): Wash the windows, booty shake. Walk that dog, do the snake. Funky chicken, finger lick. Shuffle back and rock that kick!
(On the last word, Shellsea inadvertently kicks Clamantha out of her costume and around the auditorium)
Clamantha: Ow! Ouchy! Hey hey! Ow! (hits the stage) What the heck?!
Bea: (gasp) Clamantha, are you okay?
Clamantha: Shellsea just kicked me in the face!
Shellsea: I didn't kick it in the face, its face kicked me in the foot. I mean, it's all "face" anyway.
Clamantha: Hey, I have hair, too!
Bea: Hey, hey, hey! What happened to the Love Circle? Let's keep our eyes on the prize! (singsong) Angry fishes don't get their wishes!
Clamantha: Apologize!
Shellsea: If anything, (looks at her leg) that face should apologize for it did to my inflatable foot.
Clamantha: I got nothing to apologize for, sister!
Shellsea: 'Cept your faaace.
Clamantha: Grr!
Shellsea: Hmmph.
(Shellsea and Clamantha stomp off, Bea laughs nervously)

(Cut to the cafeteria, Bea sees Clamantha and Shellsea at a table angry)

Jocktopus: I pick Shellsea!

(Various students and staff members put on "Team Clamantha" and "Team Shellsea" shirts offered by Randy Pincherson. Outside the school, a crowd is gathered and split up in two teams.)

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