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Good Morning, Freshwater/Transcript

< Good Morning, Freshwater

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(Bud is sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag. He wakes up and screams when birds peck him)

(In Mr. Baldwin's classroom at Freshwater High)
Mr. Baldwin: And then, class, you remember the human feet. Any questions? Milo, go ahead.
Milo: Uh, Mr. Baldwin? Yeah, I was wondering, how come male seahorses can be pregnant?
Mr. Baldwin: Oh, look at that! Huh, it's time for Oscar's... (turns on TV) morning announcements.
Everyone: (dejectedly) Awwwwwww!
Milo: Ahhhhhhhhhh...
Bea: Come on, Milo. Maybe today's the day that he finally pulls it together.
Oscar: (on TV, reading cards) Um...good morning, Freshwater High, my name is -- (drops cards) Whoops!
Bea: Or...maybe not.
Oscar: (on TV) Today is... (flips through cards as he talks) ...Uh, my name is Oscar...today is March 17th... (winces) ...7th...Monday...there will be a five minute wrestling feeding during lunch...please bring your own... (Bea and Milo look at each other) ...lunch? Uh... (Bea and Milo get bored) ...This is a reminder, don't chew gum in school... (Bea and Milo get more bored) ...Auditions will take place during 8th period, if you're interested, stop bly...the ba...stop bly the...stop by...the bland office...and now, for today's lunch menu...
Finberley: (hits her head) Ow!
Piranhica: Wow, can he be anymore pathetic?!
Randy: Yeah, he's like the Hunchback of Notre...Lame!
(they laugh)
Bea: (sighs) Someone needs to help him.
Milo: (sleeping) Eh.
Bea: (gasps) You're absolutely right! Because of my natural talent for entertainment, it would be a crime if I didn't show Oscar how to fix his show!

(Cut to Oscar, coming out the Audio Visual room)
Oscar: Well, Oscar, you really knocked that one out of the park.
Bea: (offscreen, singsong) Heyyyyy, Oscarrrrrr!
Oscar: (singsong) Heeeey, Bea! (normal) Catch the announcements this morning? Pretty informative, huh?
Bea: (nervously) Oh, it was very...uh...informational. Anyway, I'm here because I'd like to up your production value. Y'know, add a little pizzazz to the morning announcements.
Oscar: Oh, uh... (rubs arm) that's really nice of you, Bea, but this is kind of a hard hitting new show.
Bea: Oscar, I am all about news. All I wanna do is tweak a few teeny tiny things to make this show more watchable. What do you say?
Oscar: Hmm. What do you think about this, brain? (in his head) Uh, she's totally hitting on you. Go for it? (talking) Whoahoho! This just in: Good newsfish closes in on girl of his dreams! (Bea stares at him) Uh...I mean, uh...sounds great, w-w-what do we do first?
Bea: (singsong) Mmmmakeoverrrr! (pulls him away)

(Wipe to Oscar in the studio with his hair smoothed down. He tries to feel it)
Bea: (offscreen) No! Oscar! (oscar puts his hand down) Don't mess it up! (widen to show her) Now remember, just read everything I've written on the cue cards, and good eye contact to the camera. Got it?
Oscar: Got it!
Bea: And, cueing fabulous new intro in 3, 2, and, 1.
(Bea presses a button, news music plays and the TV in Mr. Baldwin's room turns on. Everyone stares. On the screen, it says "FWHS MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS". Cut to Oscar, he raises his arm)
Oscar: Uh... (his eyes scan the cards) Guten tag, Freshwater High. I am Oscar, and these are (points at the camera and smiles) YOUR morning announcements. (pauses)
(The camera changes)
Bea: (offscreen, whispers) Oscar, turn to camera 2!
Oscar: (turns) Oh, yeah. (As a smiling sun holding a megaphone with "MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS" appears) Ahem, today's lunch is (a mealoaf appears with the words "MEAT LOAF", and a cow moos) meatloaf sandwich! With your choice of super salad! Your choise! (A circle with a thumbs-up reading "CHOICE" appears) You choose!
(Cut to the classroom)
Esmargot: You know, usually the announcements make me really tired, but it's today it's sort of...neutral.
Shellsea: Yaaaaaa.
(Cut back to Oscar who smiles as the news music plays again. Bea gives a thumbs up)

(In the hallway...)
Oscar: So, you don't think the change of format will upset anyone, will you?
Bea: I'm pretty sure we just blew everyone's minds. Finberley, how do you like the announcements today?
Finberley: Oh, definitely better! Much better!
Koi: Wove it!
Oscar: Wow. I've never actually gotten a complement before.
Bea: Yeah, this is good...but you know, we shouldn't just settle for complements. We should shoot their praise.
Oscar: Oh, uh...okay. How do we get that?
Bea: Hmm...what if you had a cohost to play off of? A pretty cohost.
Oscar: A cohost? Uh, well, I don't know about --
Bea: Wait! (fluffs hair) I would be your pretty cohost.
Oscar: Okay, yes, I love it!

(The next day...)
Oscar: Haha! (opens A.V. door) Hey, Bea! Your favorite coanchor's here! (enters) Are you ready to -- WHAAAAT!? (sees a more improved set that looks like a talk show stage) Uh, am I in the right room?
Bea: (offscreen) Hey, Oscar!
(Pan over to Bea standing next to Jumbo, wearing professional clothes and has her hair in a poofy bob)
Bea (cont.): I'm just going over the schedule with Jumbo. He's going to be the main stage manager.
Jumbo: (flashes a V sign) Heehee! Peace.
Oscar: What did you do to your --
(Cutway to a strange closeup of Bea's face)
Bea: It's showbiz, Oscar. You gotta look good for the people! (swims over to Oscar) I went ahead and updated the set. Isn't it great?
Jumbo: Ten seconds, Bea!
Bea: (gasps) Oh my gosh! (gasps, sits down) We're about to go live.
Oscar: WHAT?! ALREADY?!!
Bea: Duh, we have to start early so we'll have time for the new segments.
Oscar: New segments? (sits down) Okay.

(Jumbo does a countdown on his hand and points. Headphone Joe and the Goth Fish perform in a band)
Bea: Heyyyy, everyone! What's the shimmy-shimmy? I'm Bea. (pauses)
Oscar: Oh, uh-uh-I'm Oscar.
Bea: And this is...Good Morning Freshwater! (the logo appears onscreen)
Oscar: Good water fresh huh?
Bea: We've got a busy show for you today, ("BIZ NIZ" appears on the screen) so, let's get down to biz niz. Oscar?
Oscar: Oh, uh-okay. Um, (raises arm) last night, the Freshwater track team...suffered a defeat in their meet...against the turtles of Shellton High.
Bea: Speaking of running, yesterday, I ran into my girl Shellsea, and she had that cutest new handbag!

(Cut to the classroom)
Bea (cont.): (on TV) Hey, Shellsea! Shout-out.
Shellsea: What what.

(Cut back to the studio)
Bea: And now, here's Milo to talk about what's been getting under his gills.
Oscar: Milo has a segment?
(Screen shows a title card reading "Milo's Minute". Show Milo at a desk dressed like a vampire)
Milo: Thanks, Bea. What is the deal with vampires? (pause) And that's what's getting under my gills. Back to you, Bea!
(Cut to Bea)
Bea: Thought provoking. Thanks, Milo!
("THANKS!" appears next to her and Oscar, who ducks)
Oscar: Well, um, if you're missing a purple hairbrush, you can find it in the lost and found box located in the health office.
Bea: That's great. And now, here's Albert Glass with today's ("Bunny of the Day" appears onscreen) Bunny of the Day!
(Cut to Albert in a cage with a bunny)
Albert: Thank you, Bea. Um, this bunny, her name is Piffy, and she's really soft. (snuggles her and giggles)

(Cut to the classroom)
Everyone: Awwwwww!
Randy: Lame!

(Cut back to the studio)
Bea: Aww, isn't she too cute, Oscar?
Oscar: (sarcastically) Yeah, I know. Bunnies are great. Okay, moving on, for those of you who (a horn sounds, he screams) What was that?!
Bea: (gasps) Oh, my gosh, it's time to pick today's Kerplopity winner!
(The letters in "KERPLOPITY" drop down a Plinko-style board)
Bea (cont.): Everyone, pull out your game cards!
(Everyone each holds up a card with a number)
Bea (cont.): Koi, Clamantha, take it away.
(Cut to Koi holding onto Clamantha on the top of a board styled like Plinko)
Koi: Wah ahhhh!
Clamantha: Good look, everyone!
(Zoom out to show the whole board. Koi drops Clamantha, she shudders as she falls down the board. She lands in a slot marked "36")
Clamantha: 36!

(Cut to Principal Stickler's office, he is holding said number)
Principal Stickler: I won!

(Cut back to Bea)
Bea: Next up, we have Jocktopus with some fitness tips.
Oscar: Uhhhhhh...

(Fade to school where everyone is cheering as Bea and Oscar come out)
Dan and Ann Chovie: Good Morning Freshwater rules!
Coach Salmons: Ohhhhhh, what a marvelous performance you have created!
Bea: Oh, Oscar, this is totally great! I was thinking tomorrow, we can have Shellsea come on and talk about fashion.
Oscar: Uh, Bea? I-I'm worried that we're starting to lose focus. Today, you did a 15-minute story on which boys in school have the dreamiest eyes. A-and I don't know who your sources were, but, I thought there were a lot of inaccuracies. The point is, there are a lot of important announcements that I didn't get to.
Bea: But Oscar, everybody loves the show now! But I don't know the lunch specials, or the computer club is having a bake sale. It's no big deal, nobody actually cares about that stuff. (Oscar's eyes widen)
(Pause)
Oscar: (sighs) Maybe you're right, maybe everyone would just like the show better if I wasn't in it. (fluffs hair back into afro)
Bea: What? That's not what I meant!
Oscar: No, no. It's okay. (leaves) I'll see you tomorrow, Bea.

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